Maury Povich Teens

Years back I was really into talk shows, and in particular trashy pointless talk shows. The most infamous of them hands down was Jerry Springer, but in at a close second was the Maury Povich show. There was a topic that was often discussed on the Maury show, and that was the topic of "out of control teens". This topic would often show the teens bad behavior and the parents that are fed up. One of the funniest parts of this show is when the boot camp instructor would come out on stage yelling and screaming. I always thought to myself, "This is not going to work".  I'm not sure of the final outcome of each teen, but the crazy thing is I still hear this in 2016. Adults are always saying things like "These kids are so bad", or "This is the worst generation ever". You turn on the tv or click on Youtube and you can see teens fighting each other, fighting teachers, and other negative behavior that gets attached to the entire generation. The media over sensationalizes and over exaggerates reality. The reality is that most of the teens aren't out of control, it's just the ones that are highlighted that give the entire millennial generation a bad rap. It's like the Muslim extremist whose only sole purpose is to create chaos, yet all Muslims get labeled as terrorist.

               Here is what I want you to do...go back to the 1970's, 80's, and 90's and tell me that they didn't have teens that were labeled out of control. You can't because each generation has had teens that fit this category. The same things that we see happening with today's teens are things that happened when I was a kid. Students fought teachers, they brought guns to school, they were in gangs, they robbed, killed, and did most of the things you see in 2016. Here is the difference. In 1980's, 90's, and early 00's no one had camera phones, and the internet wasn't as popular as it is. The difference is that we can see everything that has been going on for years. A vale has been pulled back and now it's wide open naked for the world to see. Aside from that lies another issue. When I was growing up all of the older adults looked out for the younger generation. What happened with the millennial generation is that generation X didn't do like the baby boom generation and reach back to help. The Xer's became extremely selfish and didn't see this as their problem. One of the constant things that I've heard for years is, "That's the parent's job to raise their children not mine". The statement is very true, however it does take a village to raise a child. If no one showed this generation how to behave and the right things to do, then they will figure it out the best way they know how.  Have you ever seen a kid in out in public acting a plumb fool, and the first thing you say to yourself is "They must not have been raise correctly". Ok, now imagine a whole generation of individuals that weren't taught correctly because the adults didn't do their job and reach back. This is the result that you get. You can't blame the problems on the teens and I refuse to allow you to do so. I put the blame on lack of parenting, lack of community support, lack of mentoring, younger parents, and the government telling parents what they can and can't do.   

             We complain about the kids walking with their pants down, but where did they get it from? I will tell you where, they got it from the generation Xer's. We started that horrible trend and I was a part of it. When I was younger we wore our clothes backwards, inside out, shoes untied, and we started sagging our pants. Again kids learn from what they see and what they are taught. We talk about the wild hair look, and that started again with us. The point it is don't talk down on this generation, chastise this generation, look down on this generation, or point fingers at this generation. Instead of doing these negative things how about you help this generation. Mentoring is the best way that you can bring change to the teens of this generation. Don't give me your excuses as to why you can't mentor, but give me reasons that you can. People always ask what is the key to changing this generation, and the answer is MENTORING. If you need help with getting started just ask me and I will point you in the right direction.  Change only happens when the people as a whole stand up and says ENOUGH! Be a part of that movement and let's create change. 

The Spirit of the Youth Entrepreneur

I live in the GREAT city of Atlanta, and on countless occasions I have driven by young men on the corner selling bottled water or Gatorade. The first time I saw this I thought to myself, "This is really good that they are doing this. Making money the legal way", so I supported them. Then other days I saw the same thing on different corners with different young men. Every time I see this it makes me feel great to see all of these young men taking an entrepreneur approach, instead of taking the criminal approach. Here you have these young men from mostly poor areas and could easily fall into a life of crime, but instead they are choosing to go the route of a young legal business man.
            So I have made it my point that whenever I see them and I have money, I will always buy something to drink. Even if it cost me $5 per day I want to see them prosper. This reminds of this story of a young man from a low income area who is now a millionaire.  As a young kid this young entrepreneur started painting simple rocks and selling them door to door. People would buy these rocks because they thought what he was doing was honorable and cute. He saved enough money from selling these rocks an bought small candy vending machines, which he in turn saved money to purchase full sized vending machines. After making enough money from these machines, he started a web based company, which he turned around and sold it making him a millionaire by 18. This just goes to show that you can never underestimate the hustle of a young determined individual. Just because they are young doesn't mean that they don't have business sense. Since a young lad I have always been an entrepreneur. Raking leaves, shoveling snow, washing cars, delivering news papers, and by the time I was 21 I had my own pizza restaurant. Just recently I started working on an online Ecommerce business.  I decided to make my 18 year old brother, and another young man that is like family to me minority owners in the business. I didn't mind giving up percentages in my business because I believe it's necessary for them to become entrepreneurs.

                This will give them the skills they need to start their own business if they so choose. Also once the business is successful it will give them a great start financially. I said all that to say this. If you give a man fish he could eat for a day, but if you teach him how to fish he can eat for a lifetime. There are so many young individuals you may know in your neighborhood, schools, churches, family, that you can help become entrepreneurs if they so choose to do so. You could be helping to create the next Ted Turner, or Sam Walton, or Tyler Perry, all you have to do is reach out.

Here is my final thought: If you are ever driving or walking around and you see a young individual selling beverages, has a lemonade stand, selling cookies, or anything else, I ask that you please support them. You would rather them sell you goods legally, rather then them breaking into your house and selling your things illegally. 

Be an agent for change

Since I was a kid teens and young people have been killing each other over various things. Starter jackets, sneakers, jewelry, gangs, and other stupid things. People act like this just started and that this generation is somehow to blame for it. Here is what the problem is and has always been. When you have a lack of male role models, and positive female role models then the youth will find their own way. When you have a lack of parenting, then the youth will parent themselves. There is that old phrase that goes it takes a village...well back in the mid to late 80's that village started to be dissolved. When the positive adults don't step in to be mentors and guide them, then guess what happens...the streets will guide them. Every soul on the face of this earth wants to be loved and needs guidance at a young age. If they don't get it at home then they will find it somewhere.

People always say it starts at home (that is true), but if we know that home is not a good learning environment then other people need to step in. It's not just blacks that kill each other, latino's kill each other, whites kill each other, so it's not a race thing it's a social and economic thing. This problem is one that exists mainly in poor communities no matter the race. It's not secret that most poor people aren't happy and they are angry a lot. So when you have a poor or low income community it is a pot of water on the stove just simmering, until it reaches that boiling point. Peoples anger simmers until one thing triggers them to react. Here is the thing. If GROWN RESPONSIBLE people don't start reaching back and mentoring these young teens then it will continue. They need people to show them that someone cares. They need people to show them how to navigate through life. They need someone they can talk to about anything. Organizations like the #bigbrothersbigsisters are fantastic, but they can only be effective when they have enough mentors to mentor the kids on the waiting list that they have. Here is what is amazing to me. There are many caucasian males that mentor young black teens (I have no problem with that. I think it's great), but where are the black men? It doesn't take a particular race to mentor a child, but why is there a lack of black men that are willing to step up and mentor? There shouldn't be a waiting list for these kids, but people are so selfish that they can't see past their own lives.

If we expect things to change then we have to get up and change them. Carrying more guns if one of them robs you is not the solution. Sitting behind a screen and watching the news stories when they commit crimes isn't the solution. Speaking negatively against them won't solve it. Getting up off your behinds (Positive people only), and guiding them is the solution. Does this mean that you will change everyone? No, but you will change more than not. All it takes is some effort. I get tired of seeing teens killing it is ridiculous. So if you have made it to this point then kudos to you, you actually care. So now I challenge you to challenge someone else, to challenge someone else, and they challenge someone else to be an agent for change. Become a mentor and help change a life. In the process of you changing their's, I promise that they will change yours. Cheers

R.E.S.P.E.C.T ...Find out what it means to me

So often I here adults saying, "These kids are so disrespectful these days", but they don't realize that they are a part of the problem. I get it, believe me I get it, teens can be flappy at the mouth sometimes. Answer me this question. When in the history of teens haven't they been flappy at the mouth? Every adult at some point has been a teen (unless you are a complete abnormality of nature and completely skipped that stage), and as a teen you have at one time or another been disrespectful. Here is the thing, it is completely unfair to judge an entire generation based on your experience with a few. Yes I'm sure you have been disrespected, but have you also been a part of the problem? Has there ever been a time when you raised your voice at one of your teens out of anger, or because you were trying to get your point across? And at that moment did you ask yourself is it fair to yell at an individual and not expect some sort of back talk? Listen, I understand because you are the adult that you feel you should be respected at all times.

                    There is an old saying that says, "In order to get respect, you must give respect", and that is the absolute truth. Just because a person is younger than you doesn't mean that they can't offer a valid perspective on things. You have to get out of your feelings, step back, take a breath and be the adult. Here is the thing, teens are caught in the middle of childhood and adult hood. They aren't children anymore not yet adults, even though they have adult feelings and emotions. Would you yell or raise your voice at an adult and not expect in return a harsh response? No, so why would you yell at a 15, 16, 17, or 18 year old and not expect the same reaction. As educators, administrators, counselors, and parents you are in control, but you lose control when you don't know when to relax. I remember when I worked for the Boys & Girls Club and I told my staff members in a meeting that they need to learn how to handle a certain level of disrespect. They all looked at me like I was out of my mind and crazy. Here is what I meant by that. If there is a situation where you are being completely disrespected by a young individual, you have to realize that you are in fact the adult and you have to be the bigger person. Relax, and allow that teen to say whatever they are saying. You remain in a calm voice and demeanor, because ultimately you will have the final say so. But if during that time you begin to yell back at them and act angry as well, then the situation can only escalate and you will look bad in the eyes of the other students around. So accepting a level of disrespect doesn't mean to allow yourself to be disrespected and not do anything about it...it means deal with it in that moment and handle it afterwards.

Here are my final thoughts: Teens are going to be teens no matter what, but what type of adult will you be? Will you be the one who yells to get your point across, or will you be the one who gives respect and handles themselves in an adult manner? Remember, you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar.